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Do
You Have A License?
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I would like to start out by saying that I live in the wonderful state of Florida. A well known migration point of those near to death, the homeless and indigent, as well as most of the rest of the trash that the other states don’t want. My question to you is this: We know that most of these stupid and/or senile mother fuckers can’t drive. But why do they get so much worse during the Holidays?
As you all know yesterday was Thanksgiving. I was going to write a rant from the American Indians point of view. However “Pale face ate our food, accepted our hospitality, AND THEN FUCKED US FOR ALL WE’RE WORTH!” just wasn’t long enough. So I decided to cover the never ending presence of ass hole’s on the road.
Ok here’s the scenario. We have an elderly couple, roughly 177 yrs old between them. Both are legally blind? Ethel has had a recent hip surgery do to an incident involving retrieval of the ever elusive mail! Buddy, after several decades as a volunteer fireman and full time propane tank salesman, has developed a nasty case of throat cancer. (Five packs a day for 60 years, who knew?) And requires the use of a walker, due to his little incident attempting to trim the branches on the palm tree. (He was quite confident on the ladder, until about the third rung. Then all hell broke loose.)
So here you are in heavy holiday traffic, you look to your left and low and behold it’s Ethel and Buddy. Well to be honest you can’t actually see Ethel, just the top of her little white head pokes up above the door frame. Buddy however is in full view of the world. What a specimen! Powder blue fuzzy sweater over his bright yellow button up shirt. The odd mix of colors make his hearing aids, cataract glasses, and open tracheostomy barely visible. His portable oxygen tank is also well hidden in a sporty duffle bag tucked between them on the front seat. His 1997 Caprice Classic is weaving wildly. You get a little nervous, but hope that you can switch lanes before your imminent demise.
TOO LATE! Buddy has suffered a serious stroke while cursing you for attempting to pass him! His gigantic two tone brown chariot of death smashes into you, blowing you and your family off the road. Luckily
due to your excellent driving skills, and fully functional brain, you take control of the vehicle and safely pull into an open parking lot.
Buddy and Ethel aren’t so lucky. Since Ethel can’t see over the dash of the car she doesn’t actually know they are in any danger, and to be completely honest due to her rather advanced case of senile
dementia, she thinks she’s on a plane ride to Jersey City anyway. Buddy’s brain has become a large pile of bright red pudding, and is in no condition to stop the car. They continue their final road trip directly into the path of an oncoming tanker truck. You can guess the rest.
While all of this seems rather far fetched, it is the sad and not so exaggerated truth of life in Florida. Yes, it is legal for the Legally blind to drive in this state. Also due to the fact that you can renew your license by mail for up to sixteen years, they never have to take a drivers test. Since they never physically enter the drivers bureau, no one in a position of power knows when these people become dangerous.
So remember when you visit the glorious sunshine state. Beware of any large vehicle, there might be a blue hair behind the wheel. Don’t drive when it rains, even the slightest change in driving conditions turns these people into kamikazes! And never ever take the road on a holiday! They are all out there, dressed in their holiday best, walkers and canes at the ready, and cataract glasses in full effect. Not to mention half of them are all liquored up! Safe driving!
Thanks for listening to me bitch.
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THE
COMMON COLD!
Hello
again everyone. I just received an e-mail asking why I had not yet written a
new rant. Let me tell you why, I’VE BEEN REALLY FUCKING SICK! That’s why.
So now that we are on the topic of illness let’s discuss it.
Is
there any feeling worse than a really bad cold, I don’t mean a little runny
nose mixed with a minor sinus head ache. I mean can’t breath, can’t see,
can’t talk, can’t barely fucking walk because both of your ear canals are
stuffed full of shit and your equilibrium is shot in the ass! Every time you
try to climb of the couch it sort of feels like you drank a fifth of
peppermint schnapps, a six pack of cheap beer, ate a half dozen chili cheese
dogs, then strapped a bucket over your head and proceeded to ride the
quadruple corkscrew roller coaster repeatedly for hours.
Between my nose being stuffed solid, and my voice being nearly gone, I
sound like the God Father with a five pack a day habit, after a night of heavy
drinking.
Here’s a winner, how about a good cold mixed with the flu? Oh yea this is
fun. I’ve spent so much time on the shitter that my ass is now shaped like a
toilet bowl. I recently started carrying around a large plastic bucket, I know
what you are thinking, it’s not for when I throw up. It’s for when my
asshole finally falls out. I’ll be in need of a way to transport my small
intestines to the emergency room for re-insertion! Since we already touched on
the subject, is it possible to actually throw up your internal organs? I
didn’t think so until recently. After two hours of making sounds that
resembled a slowly dying Musk Ox, I’m pretty confident that I hacked up a
piece of my liver, or maybe that was my spleen?
Speaking of hacking, how about that cough! I can’t go out in public for fear
of being marked as the next Typhoid Mary! My chest hurts so damn bad I
actually wondered if I was having a Coronary, but then the head ache kicked in
and I realized what I was actually having was a fucking stroke!
So here I sit on the floor of my bathroom, My stomach is rolling, my head
hurts so God Damn bad that my vision is blurred, all I can hear is the sound
of the ocean smashing through my skull, and on top of it all I’m starting to
wonder if I just shit myself? If my nose worked I could tell ya. Hope you
enjoy the cold and flu season as much as I am.
That’s
about it, stay healthy!
And
thanks for listening to me bitch!
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| The
dangers of Halloween?
Did
you know that allowing your children to celebrate Halloween is no different
than forcing them to worship Satan? According to a little pamphlet put out by
(Christian Light Publications) you are doing this exact thing. I would
like to read you a little piece of this brochure. "The observance of
Halloween with its focus on death, witches, luck, and foretelling the future,
links one to the very things the scripture forbids. At the best, seemingly innocent
Halloween practices weaken one's position against the occult, and at
worst, they openly invite the demonic." I have one thing to
say about this.
GIVE
ME A FUCKING BREAK!
Let's
be serious for one minute, it's bad enough that we are surrounded by religious
fanatics on a daily basis. Begging us for money, telling us we'll burn in hell
for our sins, and praying for our eternal souls. I draw the line at turning my
favorite holiday into a Demonic ritual. I DON'T WORSHIP SATAN! He doesn't do
shit for me, so I don't do a damn thing for him. How can you possibly turn a
night were millions of kids run around dressed up like Pokemon into a satanic
ritual? "Turn of the lights Elmer! There's a Demonic Pikachu at the
door. Oh Jesus deliver me from this accursed beast!" In the mean time
there is a seven year old wearing a yellow plastic mask yelling at his mom,
who happens to be looking on from the sidewalk. "MOM! They won't
answer the door, I think their hiding?" Oh yes, very dangerous.
Perhaps after your kiddies go trick or treating you should call in a priest to
have them exorcised? Maybe you could hide behind a tree and throw Holy water
on the little monsters, in a grand attempt to save their tiny souls?
I
would like to read you another portion of this wonderful transcript. It
explains that partaking in Halloween rituals of any kind is the same as
partaking in works of the flesh. These works are explained as. " Now
the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication,
uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance,
emulation, wrath, strife, sedition, heresies, envying, murders, drunkenness,
revellings, and such like." Galatians 5:19-21
Now
let me get this straight. If I go to a Halloween party, give out candy, or
dress up like superman, I am committing a sin equal to but not limited to
murder, adultery, fornication, witchcraft, drunkenness, and a slew of other
sins I don't even know how to commit? To the fine people at Christian Light
Publications, I would like to give a little free advice. Go out
tonight, get drunk, for God sakes get laid, commit a few heresies. In the
morning seek professional help! You people are seriously fucked up if you
think that Halloween should even be a concern of the public. Instead of
wasting the money you probably bilked of a bunch of little old ladies after
promising them eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven, why don't you use it to
do some good, feed the hungry, house the homeless, or maybe even for educating
the ignorant people of the world such as yourselves.
Thanks for listening to me bitch!
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| I
AM A CARNIVORE!
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I make this announcement proudly! I am a carnivore, and I love it! In a time when vegetarians and health nuts attempt to rule the world, I step forward and say "NO! I will eat the dead flesh of animals, I will consume mass quantities of cholesterol, and Yes! I will have a second helping of the chocolate cream pie!" I am not ashamed of my girth, or my appetite. I am 6'6" and weigh damn near 400lbs! Does anybody have a problem with that? I plan to eat whatever I want whenever I want, and as much of it as I want! It's my right to fill my body with fat & deadly toxins in an all consuming attempt to make my mouth happy!
Why exactly do you think we developed such wonderfully articulated hands, complete with opposable thumbs? To plant crops, and pick berries? HELL NO! It was so we could pick up a club to bash Bambi's head with! "Hmmm! Venison. Crunch!" I am a man, and therefore I will try to eat almost anything that does not try to eat me first! I can't remember the last time I actually considered what the substance I was about to consume was going to do to me after I ate it. I don't care about cholesterol, fat, or carbohydrates. "Hey Sam, cut me off another slab of that bacon, I wanna feel my arteries slam shut!" I'm the kinda guy that will wipe the fuzz off that burrito you found in the back of the fridge, the one you can't actually remember putting there. "Ah it's just surface mold, it didn't really get a hold of it. CRUNCH! HMMM!"
And about the health nuts out there, I witnessed a coworker of mine drinking this shit that reminded me of the last time I had a kidney infection. It was thin and green, and kind of on the milky side. I noticed it took her several hours to down one small cup. I finally had to ask her what it was. "It's liquid chlorophyll mixed with milk thistle, and dandelion root. It detoxifies your liver and your kidneys." And in a hushed tone she continues, "It keeps you from passing gas." That was about all I could take of this conversation, I kindly moved on. Lets get something straight people. I like to fart! I mean I really enjoy it. The only thing better than ripping a good loud fart in a crowded room, is if it's silent, but has the effects of a WWII nerve gas. You know what I mean. Elderly people passing out cold, small children screaming and crying. Adults doing the best they can to escape the room while trying not to throw up. The entire time your laughing so damn hard, your head turns purple and you can't see. Now that's entertainment! I had a friend actually challenge my farting skills, "You wait till we go out and eat some cabbage!" I say unto you! Wait till we have some Chinese, a few beers, and finish it off with a platter of cocktail shrimp! If that doesn't trigger your gag reflex, I have some ice cold chocolate milk I can guzzle for you too. To all of you pansies out there that think I am absolutely disgusting, if God didn't want us to laugh at farts, he shouldn't have made it sound like you stepped on a duck!
So to all of you dieters, joggers, vegetarians, and overly health conscience people. I hope you enjoy your salads, and your tofu. Enjoy your sugar free, caffeine free, taste free soda, your green tea, your milk thistle, and your wonderfully colorful
veggie platters. I'm off for a little snack. Let's see it's 3:56am I think I'll nuke the rest of my MEAT lovers pizza, cover it in a hearty serving of that STEAK chili my wife just made. I think I'll melt about a pound of that shredded Monterey jack I just found in my crisper over the top, suck down about a case of DR. Pepper, and follow it up with 10 or 15 Tums! Good night.
Thanks for listening to me bitch.
| Justice
Kray Style!
It's
recently come to my attention that a handful of states are seriously considering
going back to the guillotine in place of lethal injection and the gas chamber.
You know what I say to that? HELL YA! It's about time somebody somewhere grew a
set and started making these animals suffer.
I
mean really, lethal injection? What kind of punishment is that? "You raped
and murdered 32 women, you caused your victims, their families, and the
community countless years of fear, pain and anger! So now that your 16 years of
country club living are over we're going to give you a shot that's going to put
you to sleep. You won't feel a thing and justice will have been served."
Bullshit! Where's the justice in that?
When
are we going to start punishing criminals? Why is it that they have more rights
than we do? You want to have a real effect on the crime statistics? Take every
one of the useless pieces of shit that are sitting on death row, and kill them,
NOW! Tomorrow morning we wake them up, put them in lines, and shoot them in the
fucking head! If they are guilty of a crime punish them. We are still killing
criminals that were convicted in the 1980's! Why? Kill them all now! I bet that
would affect the crime stats. Can you imagine if the future president stood up
at his first press conference and said "From this day forth any criminal
found guilty of murder, rape, child abuse, or any other violent crime shall be
put to death immediately upon sentencing." I bet you nobody gets robbed at
the ATM that night.
Why
should criminals stop what they're doing, when they can have a better life
behind bars than they do on the street? Why should criminals fear the death
penalty when they know it won't be served for nearly two decades? Put some fear
into these monsters! Once a week we can have a pay per view event. Bring back
public executions, put them on PPV and charge $19.95 to see it! I'd pay twenty
bucks to watch the disembodied head of a serial killer roll around blinking for
a few minutes thinking "Hey where the fuck is my body?" It's up on the
platform asshole! Enjoy your trip to hell! Divide up the proceeds from the event
amongst the victim's families, law enforcement, and education.
Another
idea I like is punishment appropriate to the crime. You steal from me I cut off
your hand, you peep in my window I poke out your eye, you rape a women I cut off
your........ (I can't say it) but you know what I mean. Imagine the tax dollars
we save with instant executions. No feeding them, housing them, clothing them,
just the cost of a bullet! Oh, and for those of you with the question "Who
would be willing to kill these people for a living?" I volunteer, I only
ask for a splatter guard and a half hour lunch break.
Thanks
for listening to me bitch.
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|
Say
What?
Ok,
imagine this. You pick up the phone to call a government agency, Social Security
for example. After several hours of waiting on hold, the government employee
picks up the phone, in ever growing confusion, you realize this person is not
speaking English. You ask the person to please speak English since you don't
speak Swahili! The employee now speaking English informs you that they are
sorry, however if you wish to speak to them, that you must in fact find a
Swahili translator! If this sounds like an absolute nightmare, and you are
thanking the Gods above that this could never happen in our country, think
again.
Due to a new federal law passed this year, Government employees DO NOT
have to speak English even if they know how. The following quote is from one of
President Clintons aides. "If you call a government agency like social
security and nobody there speaks English, it will be up to the caller to get a
translator, not the employee. Some of our new immigrants feel more comfortable
speaking in their native tongue. As caring, sensitive Americans, we'll just have
to learn to communicate in other languages or leave the country." I
have a couple of words for this particular Clinton aide "GO FUCK YOURSELF
YOU COMMUNIST SCUM!"
Am I mistaken or were we once one of the most powerful countries in the
world? When did we become such weak minded, spineless, bootlickers? Is there a
reason why we bend over and take it for every country that asks? Why is it that
some unwashed, uneducated, unimportant, essentially useless immigrant has more
rights, better opportunities, and better care than the average middle income
American? Can anyone answer me this. I was born here, my parents were born here,
their parents were born here, is this our country or not? If you can't speak the
language, if you can't follow the customs, and particularly if you don't serve
some specific purpose here, get the fuck out! We don't need any more immigrants!
For Christ sakes, we can't take care of our own people, why the hell are we
catering to every body else's? And I don't even want to hear you whinny fuckers
with this "I suppose your parents were American Indians? shit!" No my
parents were Americans, period! Did your ancestors come from Europe, or did they
cross the ice with the rest of the fucking Neanderthals?
My point is, why don't we start taking care of our own kind? Why don't we
give some aide to the unemployed, homeless Veterans, instead of buying another
tax free hotel for some dot head? (I wonder if I can move to the middle east and
get a tax break, and a low interest loan to open my own 7-11? I doubt it!) Why
don't we make sure the children in the Ozark's are fed before we ship another
boatload of food to Africa. And for God sakes, why don't we give those
government jobs to some lesser educated Americans who could really use the
security? At least they can speak the fucking language! I thought I was a
citizen of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! Not the official dumping ground of the
world!
Thanks
for listening to me bitch.
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|
Religion
or Cult?
You
decide.
Jesus or not it's all a cult more or less. What am I in reference to? Organized
religion! Particularly Christianity, and Catholicism. I'm sorry, but someone
needs to explain to me what the draw is, I don't get it. So lets go over what
you get when you join the church.
1.
You get to waste several hours and possibly several nights or mornings
(depending on which cult you belong to) listening to some red faced sweaty old
bastard rant and rave about fire & brimstone, or it could be the little old
man that whispers from the pulpit about the glories of god and how lucky we are
to have a chance at salvation. Then there is the absolute worst punishment any
human can tolerate. Several hours in front of a middle aged, washed up truck
stop waitress, with a 50lb blond wig, and enough makeup to fill the dents on
your 68 Chevy! "More spackle quick! Her fake tears are making fault lines
in her face!"
2.
"GOD NEEDS YOUR MONEY!" I doubt it. God can have what ever the
hell he wants. He is GOD right? The
church wants our money! The pastor, preacher, minister, pope, or whatever the
hell else they call themselves these days. They are the ones who want our hard
earned dollar, without out which they couldn't drive their cadillacs, send their
wives for LARGE quantities of plastic surgery, afford the luxury apartments for
their mistress, pay off their gambling debts, buy multimillion dollar mansions,
or support their drug, alcohol, and prostitute habits. "Send me half your
Social Security check! Or you will go to HELL!" etc............
3.
If your young enough to participate, there is always the (mandatory)
volunteer work. Paint the church, clean the church, mow the lawn, black top the
newly enlarged parking lot. ( They need more room for future customers) Setup
all the activities that are supposedly for your enjoyment, and yet you pay a fee
to attend. Hmmm....
4.
You have a man tell you that your soul has been saved. That in
itself is a little confusing. Precisely what magic power does this man
have. I pay your fee, oh sorry give a donation. I show up at your church
(dressed in my finest clothes which I really couldn't afford but didn't want to
look out of place) and listen to you ramble on, again. I give my time, and lower
back pain to ensure that your cult continues to grow. Or if you're lucky enough
to be a member of the worlds biggest and best cult, you get to confess your sins
to a priest! Directly followed by
a prayer to the Virgin Mary. Now correct me if I'm mistaken, but in that
book their so fond of, doesn't it mention something about graven images, or
thou shall not bear witness to false idols? Or something of that nature.
It's been a long time since I was in the cult, but I'm pretty sure that the Virgin
Mary, as well as assorted other saints aren't considered GOD. Also, I would
like to point out that you will be informed that living a good life, helping
others, and never committing a crime against another living thing, just isn't
good enough! You must be saved by the church in order to avoid an eternity of
fire, and damnation! Hmmm.........
5.
Last but certainly not least. "My religion is the only real
religion. Everyone else is going to hell!"
WHY? Everyone else in the whole wide world is wrong? The Chinese,
Islamic, Jews, Muslims and countless others are all wrong! So all these million
of people world wide are going to hell just because they don't belong to your
cult? Hmm.......
So
my final question is why? Is it the need to feel like they belong to something
bigger than themselves. Is it just too damn difficult to believe that you are
responsible for your own actions, and your own destiny, and there isn't some
white haired guy in a flowing robe playing a game with your life? Is it the
social atmosphere, where you get together and congregate with friends? If the
last is true, join a fucking recreational center! You don't need to join a cult
to make friends. Get a personality talk to people, believe in yourself, take a
bath!
I suppose that's about it, if there is a God out there, (I'm not really
sure what's out there!) I hope he understands I'm not blasting you dude, just
the parasites who live off your name. Adios!
|
| The Monogamy Factor! |
I'm
afraid today's article is not so much a rant as it is a hypothesis I've been
working on, and would like to discuss with you the public. Have you ever
wondered why there seems to be several classes of human being, in regards to
common intelligence that is. Why is it that we have those people that obviously
have no concept at all of what goes on around them (the largest group might I
add.) The everyday Joe who just goes about his business (second largest
group) and the mega genius (smallest group) who is considerably
smarter than we have ever conceived of being. The answer is simple, MONOGAMY!
If you look at the big picture, humans as a species are nothing more than
mammals. Actually to narrow it down even more, we are predators! The only things
that differentiate us from the rest of the animal kingdom are opposable thumbs,
a written language, and entirely too much Japanese technology. Now if you will
look at the animal kingdom on a whole, what do you see? Selective breeding!
Does just any male get to reproduce? Hell no! Only the biggest, the strongest,
and the most intelligent earn that right. We on the other hand suffer from the
one thing that will eventually destroy our kind. MONOGAMY!
Monogamy isn't natural! It was created by females to ensure that they
would hang on to their primary providers. Maternally minded females permanently
ensnaring sex driven males has led to a serious problem with our society, look
at what it's caused. Right now close your eyes and imagine the people you work
with. There's that guy with the hunched shoulder and the limp, you know the one
that looks in two directions at the same time and drools whenever a member of
the opposite sex walks by. Or how about the guy with the foot fetish magazines
falling out of his locker, he has the prettiest smile, look how all three of his
teeth just shine. And last, but certainly not least there is the 500lb woman
with the coke bottle glasses, the one you can hear breathing two corridors away,
you know the one that looks like her office chair has been surgically implanted
in her ass. Are these people normal? Hell no! They are the byproducts of
allowing anyone and everyone to breed! Nature didn't intend for just anything to
reproduce, only the strongest genetic coding should be allowed to continue.
So here is my suggestion for the betterment of society, selective
breeding based on rigorous mental evaluation. All citizens of the planet
should be tested upon the reaching of sexual maturity, once the test results
determine whether or not the subject is acceptable, failed candidates shall be
sent for mandatory sterilization. while male and female subjects of an
acceptable type shall be paired off for future ventures. You may love, live
with, and marry any one of your choosing, however bearing of children shall only
be done with your predetermined partner. This method shall prove useful in two
ways. 1.It shall ensure the survival of a more intelligent human race. 2. It
gives you a perfectly legitimate excuse to sleep with someone beside your
spouse.
While I don't actually expect this to happen, the moral of my story is:
Feel free to sleep with who ever you want, but for God Sakes don't make more
like you. Thanks for listening to
my insane rhetoric.
In a closing note, I would like to thank my parents for having
unknowingly taken part in the selective breeding process, through careful
analysis of their genetic material, it was predetermined that they would produce
offspring of an extraordinary quality. (Namely me!) So to my parents Bob
& Karen, welcome home, I'm glad your back.
| Herding instincts of the common human
Well here we are, the very first Rant of the day! I would like to kick off my very first rant with a phenomenon that truly drives me insane. I like to call it Herding instincts of the common human. The other day I decide to go to breakfast. It's early am due to the fact that I'm up all night. When myself and a very close friend of mine arrive at the chosen breakfast spot it is EMPTY! Not a person in sight. We take the opportunity to seat our selves in the furthest most recesses of the establishment. (I despise natural sunlight, give me the buzz of a fluorescent lamp any day.) Within twenty minutes we are surrounded by people. Business men, families with screaming children, little old ladies bitching about their overcooked eggs, and the ridiculously high price of their $1.99 breakfast. Now the interesting thing is, that the rest of the place is a fucking ghost town! No one, any where, twenty odd people have decided to sit within five feet of me? Am I that pretty? I doubt it!
Situation number two. We go to the late show at the movies. It is a very big theater with balconies and the whole deal. Now mind you it's close to midnight, the place is deserted when we arrive. Within ten minutes we are surrounded by people, this is a five hundred seat theater, and 40-50 people have me boxed in on all sides! Is it my refreshing aroma? Do I draw people with my glowing personality? (What is that green haze? Oh pardon me.) I know that's not it. Now if you have experienced this phenomenon please answer one question for me. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? Why the hell do people feel the need to herd? Why must they sit in little clusters, is it the fear of looking different? "Oh no honey we can't sit by ourselves, people will stare at us." Let them fucking stare! Who gives a shit what people think of you anyway? Is it the fear of looking different? What the hell is it? Do they think if a mad gunmen busts into the joint he'll pick off the small groups first? (HEY CLETUS, WASTE THAT BITCH IN THE CORNER, SHE LOOKS DIFFERENT.)
If any of you have any ideas as to what causes this strange occurrence, or if you have a herding story of your own, please feel free to contact me. Thanks for listening to me bitch!
|
|
The
Big Sellout!
|
Now
I’m not one of those artsy fartsy people that have some personal hatred for
the establishment. I understand when a garage band jumps on the chance to do a
soundtrack or open up for a bigger band. I understand when they change their
style in order not to disappear altogether. Some times we have to make changes
in order to survive. My problem is when already established, already popular,
and already filthy rich groups do this exact thing.
First on
my list Metallica. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? These guys have been the kings of
rock for a fucking decade and now what? They go puss! I mean lately they
seriously suck! What’s up with this soundtrack shit? Has anybody heard the new
MI 2000 tune? More importantly has anyone seen them? Jesus Christ! They look
like a bunch of fucking preppy wannabe college kids. Next thing you know
they’ll be spitting out love ballads and getting Disney rides named after
them. I have one more word regarding Metallica. “NAPSTER” Come on guys, your
filthy fucking rich! Don’t you think the greed has gone a little to far does
it really matter if people listen to your music on their computer? Do you think
they would have stopped buying CD’s? I’ll tell you why I don’t buy your
CD’s anymore. YOU TURNED INTO A BUNCH OF MIDDLE AGED PUSSIES! If you can’t
carry on the show, retire. Have some respect for yourselves for Christ sakes!
Next on my list Limp Bizkit. I love these guys, Faith and Break stuff.
Are two of my favorite songs of all time. But now when I turn on the radio what
do I hear? MI 2000, another soundtrack song. Learn from Metallica’s mistake.
Don’t change your style just to be main stream. The reason so many of us dig
your music is your originality. Guess what? Your new tune has all the
originality of a two dollar whore. We can go a little further down the street
and find another one just like you.
Last on my list is Korn. Do we all remember the song Blind? When that
tune opens up “ARE YOU READY!” I damn near got a chubby! I mean that was
some serious rock. I loved that shit! But now we have Make me bad. To late guys
the song is bad, very bad! I mean calling up Lawrence Welk for an audition type
bad. Again what happened? Is it just me or am I suddenly being serenaded by a
bunch of eunuchs disguised as hard rock bands? I don’t know what’s going on
but I don’t like it.
Last but not least let me send out a warning, better yet let me beg for a
favor. To those few bands that are still too damn hard, and you know who you
are. System of a Down, Slipknot, etc………. Please don’t follow the path of
those pathetic souls listed above. Stay real, stay original, and most
importantly stay hard!!!!!!!! Don’t try to be a pawn of the system, rise above
it, and make it your own. After all you know our motto. FUCK THE WORLD!
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